1. I love being spontaneous but I also love having reassurance. When it comes to travel, I always plan where I stay but I leave the day up to interpretation. When you’re traveling solo, I found that by the end of day, after getting lost, and lost, and lost again— it’s important to have one place that brings you back to sanity. A place where you know is your temporary “home.” And home means you feel safe, it means a direction, and it means solid wifi service (usually to call that person in your life because you almost had five meltdowns.) It means having an endpoint. Before I travel somewhere, I do a lot of research of all the places I want to see, food I want to try, museums and historic monuments and I make a list so I have it handy. It’s great to know your options while still making valuable use of your time. If something requires a reservation, I’ll plan a particular day and time for it, but majority of my trip is experienced purely by how I feel. Sometimes I feel more ambitious and adventurous than other days. Sometimes the weather dictates how far I decide to wander— And sometimes a cafe in the middle of who knows where is the kind of pause I need. At the end of the day, a bed that I can look forward to is important to my emotional well-being. Four walls that reassure me that the world isn’t overwhelmingly big makes me feel more confident.

2. Go big, but don’t set yourself up for failure. The fact that you’re considering traveling to another country alone is already a huge endeavor. You are going to experience a different world. You will be physically, emotionally, and mentally challenged. You will grow. Give yourself one advantage. Europe for me meant I could somehow get by with English. Maybe it’s knowing the food for you, or feeling confident about the method of transportation. Maybe it’s where your parents grew up. Being familiar can feel like a hug after a day filled with wrong turns. It’s important that you don’t sell yourself short and hate something which can also change the way you view life. Sometimes people think traveling is an enlightening life-changing experience, and it is, but some people realize, they really don’t like different food. Some people realize they freak out at the idea of having to navigate multiple trains. Some will learn that they don’t have a tolerance for language barriers or different customs. You’re going to uncover a part of yourself that you didn’t think existed. Have patience with yourself and with others. It’s not always bad, it’s just understanding that the world is very different from your every day life. It’s going to shock you and make you vulnerable. You are going to miss what’s familiar at home. You’re the underdog here. Give yourself a fair shot at embracing what’s different, but also don’t put yourself in an environment where you literally become miserable right away. Build your tolerance. Take your time developing. What you learn will prepare you for the next journey or destination.

3. Be prepared to talk to yourself, a lot. I was having full conversations with myself— I was in my head the entire trip. Yes Lillienne, Go Lillienne, Turn around Lillienne. Whether it was about what to eat, what to see, or what to say, I spent the majority of my trip checking in with myself. Solo trips are lonely majority of the time. It’s a time of challenge and perservearance. For however many days you’ve decided to spend “alone,” you’re the only person you need to worry about— And suddenly, that’s all you worry about. Your mental endurance is going to be tested and I can promise you, at some point you’ll be having a conversation with yourself second guessing your next move. I spent a looot of time reflecting, observing friends and couples laughing together, and wishing I knew one familiar face. Even for the introvert, it will make you feel lonely. BUT, it’s exciting, empowering, and it’s a weird sort of fulfilling. Every time I sat down at a cafe in Paris, I felt like a whole different woman. Every time I made it to my next destination, I was even more confident in my ability of travel.

I used this time to disconnect from my fears, and from what was familiar to me. It’s a really beautiful experience to truly discover things without distraction. The less you’re familiar with, the more you’re forced to get out of your comfort zone. Still to this day I can remember every detail of my trip and it’s really because I had nothing but time to process— every meal, every adventure… You see, when you’re around someone familiar, you start to pay attention to them. You forget where you are. You forget the details of your surrounding. You focus on your interaction—which is equally important. However, when you have time to reflect and process, you begin to appreciate those connections when you had it. So moving forward you appreciate conversation. You appreciate having the opportunity to see something most spend their whole life saving up for. A little pep talk can make a difference between holding back or trying something new. Every bit of “You can do this” means you’re accepting the challenge. Being curious will open doors so remind yourself of your intentions and goals when you’re feeling hesitant, lost, or unsure.

4. If you can navigate leaving the airport, you’re going to make it just fine. So you think dining by yourself alone in another country is intimidating? I think navigating a new airport in a different country is the true testament to solo traveling. Navigating an airport, or train station is the number one, most intimidating thing you will do during your entire trip and unfortunately…. it’s the very first part of your grand trip. You suddenly feel like all the odds are against you. Foreign language, immigration, jet lag, navigating accommodation address and location, currency exchange, time change, cell phone service is nonexistent, restrooms are always hidden, and why are there always so many stairs abroad for that “light” carry on you packed?

So breathe, and I seriously mean it. Take a second, or five to breathe as you’re walking off the airplane ramp because I can promise you, if you’ve never navigated an airport in a foreign country, you will suddenly feel a rush of anxiety and unpreparedness like you’ve never felt before. I always tell you how exciting solo traveling is, but no one tells you the eiffel tower isn’t right outside those airport doors, and everyone is going to stare at you walking in circles because you didn’t quite understand the travel guide the first time. First thing. Customs. You’re going to be filling some sort of customs form if you’re not a citizen of the country right before you land. Gather your passport, your forms, and your belongings and make way to customs. And while you’re standing in line, anxiously waiting that new stamp in your book, think about your needs. I always like to refer back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. As soon as you pass through immigration, do you need to use the restroom? Do you need a snack? How’s your cell phone service? Do you have google translate? Then, I do my currency exchange and once myself, and all my resources are in tact…

Retrieve your accommodation location. If you haven’t figured out transportation before your trip, most foreign countries have assistance somewhere, for instance a travel guide. Be kind to them. Be patient with your frustration. And listen like your life depended on it (cause it kind of does.) Also, a smile goes a long way. Locate what city you need to get to, and ask what’s the best way to get there. And to burst your bubble, sometimes Uber doesn’t exist. Train ticket? Multiple train tickets? Once you’ve left the airport or train station, within minutes you will feel a sudden surge of relief and confidence that escaped you the moment you passed immigration. From there, the world becomes your oyster.

Smile, you almost made it! For some reason, every single time I’ve tried to find my hotel/hostel/Airbnb, I spent way more time than I assumed. Meltdown number three almost on it’s way. I went in circles because I was too busy staring at the map. Let me tell you this now, foreign countries map differently. Again, breathe. Look for key landmarks, store names… actually look up. Once you’ve realized where you’re located at, you will find “home.” Check in, drop your bags, and if it’s not late night, your adventures await you!!

5. You’ll never regret it, so spend the money. Every decision is an experience that will make your trip and will probably make you laugh later when you’re telling your family and friends. You’ll reflect back in the future thinking, “I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe that happened!” Anything you regret becomes the highlight of the story. Go on the tours, visit the museums, and treat yourself to a good meal. This is your time to indulge. This is your time to experience. Every dollar I spent was a dollar invested in myself. I learned a lot about foreign countries based on finances. I learned the value of time and even more, I learned the true value of a dollar.

While I was in London, I decided to stay at a Hostel for two nights—Something so completely outside of my comfort zone. I did a lot of research and found one in SoHo that had great reviews on safety. I picked a room with six beds because I figured i’d make friends with at least one person. I ended up meeting five awesome people (all male) from all over the world. I found friendship in a day. That decision opened doors for my trip that probably wouldn’t have happened if I was completely alone in my own space. I learned so much about culture and geography, and how “in my bubble” I really am. I learned that no matter your nationality or ethnicity, we’re all just trying to navigate our way.

After the hostel, I decided to book a hotel for the rest of my trip. It was the most decadent splurge after having shared a bathroom with others. I felt more gratitude for a night alone, and suddenly realized I enjoyed being “solo.” I appreciated the trip so differently in both a hostel and a hotel. I appreciated the opportunities that both experiences gave me.

I hope this inspires you and encourages you to spread your wings. You wont regret it, I promise! Happy travels!!

with love,

L