life goals
When I turned 30, instead of people saying “Happy Birthday!” I received a lot of, “Congrats!” —At first, with a slight hesitation I replied, “Thanks?” At the time, Congrats threw me off, but only then did I realize that reaching 30 IS a milestone. You’re now entering mature adulthood. You’ve survived your twenties, and all the complicated feelings, and now it’s time to start thinking about the direction of your life— for the rest of your life. #NoPressure
In your twenties, the world is your oyster. You have so much time to day dream. You have an abundance of options. You have time to delay, and you don’t have to commit to anything—if you don’t want to. You’re a little more insecure, naive, and hesitant. You’re wishy-washy about what you want to do for the rest of your life because to you that seems way too far ahead to have to commit to. You might have a lifeline to call, or your responsibilities just haven’t threw you for a crash course yet. You’re learning that first love, not always but often, isn’t the last love.
“30 is like being reborn with the manual. ”
And then 30 comes. Out of nowhere, you plan your hangovers, you respond to emails quicker than text messages, and suddenly stocks and 401k interests you. Why is geometry more important than figuring out your taxes? If you don’t commit, you lose it. 30 is like being reborn with the manual. You’re so much more acquainted with heartache, and you just know if a friendship is either going the distance or you’re not compatible. The world isn’t your oyster anymore, but you’re OK with that. That dream job, turned out to be something else that actually makes sense. You’re realistic. You’re less hesitant to stand on your own terms, and you say no more often. Insecurity isn’t so much a smack to the face as knowing “not everyone is meant for you, and that is OK.” HGTV is a thing, pro-biotics is a life changer, and one week off a workout and your body wont hesitate to remind you. Thirty is so. much. fun.
No really it is. A lot happens in your twenties, but your thirties, you realize that each door you’re deciding to open changes the direction of your life. You start thinking about what you truly want. A life partner? A family? Marriage? What’s home to you? What’s your every day routine look like? In your thirties you step back to reflect. You begin to evaluate what makes you happy, more importantly why.
I’ve loved the maturity 30 has given me in my perspective. There isn’t always an answer to every feeling or situation—and such is life; You figure it all out simply by living, and learning through it. By missing opportunities, messing up, seeking advice from those who’ve been there, and finding what feels right to you. You actually gain when you feel like you’re losing, and you lose most when you’re not putting effort in. 30 gave me this depth— or better yet, it made me realize that the last ten years of my life happened intensely…
So. Much. Happened, and yet I’m here, with time, still—to write more dreams, challenge myself to reach higher, and to experience deeper.
The truth is, although i’ve seen a lot of the world, there’s also a part of my life I haven’t nurtured much. Suddenly some interests shift in priority. Some people thrill over the idea of traveling nonstop, and trust me, I did. I still do. Don’t get me wrong, I love the wild in me. I love the woman who is equal parts of spontaneous and adventurous. Reality is, life isn’t always a vacation. Trust me, I knowww, it was really hard to type that last sentence. Take it from me, you can become blinded by travel sometimes (just as much as you can be enriched by it.) This next statement I make is going to be very contradicting to what I’ve always stood for—but I’ve realized that balance is essential, and vital to your overall well being. Adventure will open your eyes, and so will the hard work you put into your career. Those experiences and strangers you met along the way will teach you something, as well as building your empire and purpose in life.
Before I turned 30, I made a list of 30 things I wanted to accomplish. The fulfilling taste of adrenaline and fear being looked straight in the eye is powerful. However, there’s an equal fulfillment in accomplishing something you didn’t think was possible in terms of “internal ownership” and manifestation. Something that once intimidated you because it seemed incredibly out of reach —now being attainable? I don’t know of many things in life tasting sweeter than this. Honestly, give me a double shot of this, neat please.
I write these lists because you’re more likely to put your mind and effort to your goals when you hold yourself accountable. So, I sat down and had a deep talk with myself. I reflected inward and wrote a list of things that held heavy value to me. A list that gave me a deeper purpose in the way I want to live my life moving forward. This list is personal, and rather than just crossing off spontaneous ventures, it’s a list that requires a decision and commitment. There’s no end time for me on this list. It’s a list that focuses on things I want for myself, my future, and accomplishments to work towards. It’s a list to reflect back on when I feel like I’m losing sight of my why’s and how’s. I’ve decided to share three personal life goals with you, while still keeping safe the rest that hold a lot of heart.
in no particular order.
First | I used to think living in a high rise apartment would be something I’d do forever. I used to think yard work sounds horrible. Maybe that was 20 year old Lillienne. I still think yard work sounds horrible, but having room for a little garden, well, I kind of like that idea. There’s something very heartwarming about making memories in a space that can stay with you more than temporarily. I’d love to put my hands on a room and make it “Lillienne” again. I’m at this point in my life where I would really love to start hosting dinners again. I’d love to be in space that goes beyond just unpacking boxes.
Becoming a homeowner is a huge accomplishment, as well as an investment. I have always admired people who’ve taken the step forward and it reminds me that I want that type of reward in my life. So, that means slowing down my travels and prioritizing responsibilities. I’ve been living in a day dream these past few years, and while it’s been incredible, and so many of you see the exciting, adventurous side of it, it’s equally become the most dangerous thing about me. I never stay still. I lost a home I built with someone, and since then, I’ve been a bird wandering wherever the wind took me. The views have been incredible but I’ve always just kept flying with no destination to end to. Don’t get me wrong, I love the wanderess in me, I wouldn’t ever change that part of who I am, however, I’ve also reached a point in my flight where stability feels safe. A safety net feels nurturing. Sometimes meeting strangers can be adventurous, and sometimes it can leave you feeling empty. I don’t think that part of me, “the free bird” would ever go away completely, but for a little while, I feel like slowing down and building a nest.
Second | I started this blog during lock down, after at least three other failed attempts in previous years. I’ve always had a knack for expressing what I was feeling. When I started to take those ideas I daydreamed about seriously, I started to see my potential. (Now apply that to real life.)—Honestly, when I started to put more commitment, and a loooot of time into writing, I realized it was more than just an outlet for my creativity. I realized how many ventures I wanted to take this platform to. I realized how much I still needed to grieve through a broken heart. I realized that for the first time, I was being vulnerable in my emotions but willing to be courageous enough to share it publicly. Bravery in gentleness. Sometimes the silence needs to be expressed. Sometimes the sadness needs to be felt. Sometimes the pain needs words.
I never thought I would gain attraction or interest from readers, and it never was my priority, because I envisioned this initially as a diary— however the many private messages that have been sent to me by those who’ve related to what I wrote has been empowering for me. I realized I became the voice of inspiration. I saw a flicker in me that other’s used to light their way. The messages people have sent me touched me so deeply. Support in anonymous forms can really feel like a hug. There’s comfort knowing that there’s someone out there who understands a feeling, and can share a similar moment of happiness or grief.
While on the flip side, I also realized that I like to test the boundaries, and i’m learning to not read too much into the judgement of others for it. “What people think of you has more to say about them than of you,”— have you heard that? Well it’s true. Personal opinions are based off criticism for not doing as the majority would do, or being judged for something someone else simply just doesn’t understand. Being the outlier is where I thrive. Being misunderstood is no shock to me. So, as I peel back layers and express myself, I realized I am going to be criticized for it regardless of the direction of my intention. Each time I publish a post I feel braver than the last. My skin has become thicker, and there’s a woman in me who has become fearless. This, for me is powerful— life changing really.
I’d love to see what potential this platform has to brand itself. I’d love to test more boundaries. I’d love to partner up with something/someone whose mission is for wellness in spirit, mind, body, and life. I’d love to write more on things that make YOU question your own feelings. I look forward to connecting with you on an unfiltered, raw, and honest level.
Third | I feel like I am always in school. Truth is, I have been. Between Cosmetology, to University, to Medical Esthetics, to now Real Estate. As soon as I finish a certification or degree, I’m always beginning something new. Education never bored me. I loved expanding my intellect. The way I see life—You never stop growing. You adapt. Roots don’t just sit still. You expand, and test the boundaries around you, but most importantly within you. You climb up walls that attempt to keep you off, and you dig your way through mud and dirt so you can find a space to thrive in. Roots provide anchorage for a plant to take in water and nutrients, and when a plant needs more, curiosity will drive the plant to resources to maintain survival. So a plant will extend away from what’s familiar to access more for survival. The taller the tree (or plant) the deeper the roots.
So apply this to your life, as I have applied it to mine. There’s always room to grow, and when it seems like there isn’t, a root will find a way to strengthen itself. You’re never too old. You’re never too accomplished to start over again. And maybe instead of thinking of “starting over again”— think of “adding again.” What if we looked at life in terms of addition— because then you’re always gaining. Too many people are intimidated at the thought of starting over because they feel like they’ve lost. You haven’t. You never have. Every decision is a risk in your life. Not growing is the bigger risk.
And if you needed a reminder— a resume isn’t just a list of your financial gain but a reflection of your effort, drive, and determination. Some passions fill a lifetime over, and some are the keys to the next door you’re going to open. I’ve continued branching my certifications and licenses because they’ve all merged together beautifully. I’ve been in the beauty industry for fifteen years and I know it like the back of my hand. I’m at a place in my life where now I’m looking to take on a leadership role in some aspects of my career —I’ll end that here as I’m not quite ready to disclose what and how (just know I’m reeeeally excited about the plans I have drawn out) However, as I continue to grow, I am able to merge what I’ve learned in service industry to be of service in a different light. I’m excited to expand my expertise and experience into different platforms as well as branch myself into new roles. 30’s, I’m telling you, it’s a whole mood.
There’s intention and purpose in decision making after your twenties. You’re no longer gambling for short term.
I hope you enjoyed this. It’s been a while since I’ve written something hearty. Hopefully you’ll feel inspired to reflect before the new year about what you’d love to put time into annnnd I hope you stick to it. As always, feel free to comment, like, or visit the contact page and share a personal message. I’ve been reading these and loveeeee the rawness you’ve shared with me. Until next time, Cheers!
with love,
L