Skydiving into 30.
Back in November I decided to make a list of thirty things I wanted to do before I turned 30. I’ve always been pretty ambitious when it comes to accomplishing things I set my mind to —and making a list would actually scale down how insanely spontaneous I can be. One idea in particular suddenly consumed my mind— #2 on the list, Skydiving. I became obsessive over wanting to cross this off.
One week until my birthday and I decided this is the week. I don’t know why Skydiving made my list honestly. I’m not thaaat much of a thrill seeker. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I was badass because it was something so far from what I would normally let myself do.
The last ten years of my life seemed so infinite, and I was at least three different women in that decade. I met my then love and we moved in together at 21, I was engaged at 25, and single at 27. None of those women were brave enough to jump out of a plane. The finality of everything in that decade felt like I needed a rebirth. I wanted to start this new chapter with a fresh breath of air. Skydiving seemed a bit dramatic for fresh air, and although I didn’t know what to expect, the idea of jumping into this new decade filled with new possibilities, emotional freedom, and adventure seemed fitting.
There’s two things people will immediately say when you tell them that you’ve skydived, or that you’re planning on going. The idea of Skydiving suddenly reminds people of their own fears, and then they retract by saying how awesome it is that “I am so brave!” And in that moment, you’re processing their reaction thinking, “Uh, well crap, Am i crazy?” Trust me when I say this, I am painfully terrified of flying… of heights, of the stomach drop, of turbulence, of a plane with an open door, of falling…. You haven’t seen fear until you’ve sat next to me on an airplane with my nails digging into your skin. Try sitting next to me on that 17hr flight to Asia. I am the worst companion pass holder ever. Invite me, but also don’t. But like, do cause FOMO (fear of missing out.) So, for me to commit to this adrenaline packed jump, was I crazy?
“Once you’ve reached your destination, there is no turning back. ”
It’s sunrise, a beautiful, sunny, warm blue day. No winds, and a few soft clouds floating in the sky. You honestly couldn’t paint a more perfect morning. The drive to Longmont was 1hour, and a smooth drive. We arrive, check in, and I’m waiting in an airport hanger with my mom. I see the first group geared up, excited…and I’m just in awe watching them. I literally can’t wait to have my tandem skydiver come put the harness on at this point. An hour passes by and i’m still just waiting in the hanger. Tom (my tandem skydiver) comes over and goes, “There you are! We forgot you!” Uh, Hold up. Hoooooold. UP. What do you mean you forgot me? So while he’s tightening all the straps on my harness, he tells me, “I boarded the plane, and was like, where’s my tandem?” I’m not sure if that’s the first thing you want your tandem guide to tell you. I’m pretty sure that’s not it. I look Tom in the eyes and tell him, “Tom, I’m unforgettable.” and he laughed and said, “I see that now.” He continues going over what’s about to happen. Two things to remember, keep your head up for the video, and lift your legs up for the landing. Seems easy.
“The emotional flight of skydiving is something you experience alone, but for these few minutes, all of us are experiencing the up-climb together.”
Scott then comes over, introduces himself as the skydiver who will be recording me. Hellooo blue eyes. Immediately I forgot about skydiving and thought, wow, Scott is easy on the eyes. Scott takes me outside of the hanger, and begins recording, asking me questions. Why the interest? First time? Nervous? And suddenly it felt like I was doing an in-person bumble date. Haha. My 30th birthday, first time sky diving, and I’m feeling a little nervous. So what’s for dinner? Kidding. He reassures me with a, “That’s expected, You’ll do great, Just try to keep your face up and look for me, it’ll make capturing the dive much more memorable for the footage, but also take in the view.” So I’m thinking, OK, stare at your blue eyes. Check!
I hug mom before we part ways, and then head for the plane. Tom sits behind the pilot, facing me as I straddle the bench in front of him. There’s definitely no in-flight briefing and I clearly see only 1 exit out of this aircraft, but my crazy self continues to sit like a little kid on her first day at school. Anxious, but excited. Scott follows and sits side by side to me, and then four other solo divers follow in. We’re all on each-others laps practically, and all I’m thinking is how comforting the closeness feels. The emotional flight of skydiving is something you experience alone, but for these few minutes, all of us are experiencing the up-climb together. Tom tells me to buckle my seat belt and I laugh asking, “Are you being sarcastic?” He lifts his hands with a seat belt for me. Irony… So we head for take off, and I’m admiring the view outside. That’s right, we go straight into the sky. I didn’t even flinch once. My heart wasn’t racing. My eyes were wide open, taking each second in. Honestly, blue eyes probably helped distracted me as he’s telling me play by play what’s happening. Once you’re in the air and we’ve reached our destination for drop, there is no turning back.
We’re climbing up altitude, and I’m fist bumping everyone as they find out it’s my birthday. Everyone cheers for me and tells me how awesome 30 is going to be. Then, the door opens. And this is when I realized, I have never been on a plane with the door wide open. Uhhh…. hands start to slowly get shaky. The first two divers jump out at about 5,000ft. And I’m looking out the window, can’t spot them, but this view is getting more grandiose. We still have more climbing to do. I’m flying so high up to the point that I notice clouds. And this is when reality smacks me in the face. I’m not going to be in this plane when it lands.
Scott begins to make his way following each of the solo divers out. He looks at me making sure I don’t get tangled in the seat-belts. My senses are overloading. You imagine fear taking over your thoughts but honestly all I could process was the coldness in the air, and how bright outside that door looked. Blinding almost. Tom taps me and tells me to put my hands on my chest straps. Scott turns around and faces me, and I am sandwiched in-between the two of them. Without counting Scott pushes himself out of the plane staring right at me. For the few nanoseconds, my mind literally escaped my body. My senses were absorbing the wind against my skin, the crispness of the air, and the blueness of the sky. Tom yells out ONE, and then he pushes us out.
“For the few nanoseconds, my mind literally escaped my body. My senses were absorbing the wind against my skin, the crispness of the air, and the blueness of the sky. Tom yells out ONE, and then he pushes us out. ”
The first three seconds, and I will forever remember this, I HATED it. Suddenly my conscious came back to me and I immediately thought, “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING LILLIENNE!!” I felt the drop. I felt a split second of dizziness, I felt a spin. And then suddenly, out of nowhere my body knew exactly what to do from the instructions. Arms up, legs bent, head up, find Scott. This was free fall.
“This was free fall.”
Free fall, It is unlike anything you will ever experience. I’m going to try my best to describe it because it’s just thaaaat magical. Free falling through the clouds is something I always wondered about when i’m staring out of a plane window. It’s bliss. It’s euphoric. It’s fast. There’s a lot of wind. It’s loud. We fell for over a minute, Tom expressed earlier that because of our weight difference, we could get a little more free fall time. There’s nothing quite like falling into Planet Earth. It doesn’t feel like a roller coaster, you don’t get dizzy, your stomach doesn’t drop. The mathematical calculations of velocity, speed, wind, and all of that has to be fascinating to compute because free fall is literally FREELY FALLING and the concept is insane. People chase this feeling and I understand why. It’s your physical body, your conscious, your fears, your heart, your senses…. Everything is experiencing this all in one time. It’s magical.
And then I see Tom check his wrist, and he pulls the parachute. Remind you, I am 107lbs. My legs immediately fly up and my body jerks. Suddenly, I feel like its over. Not my life, but that bliss. The euphoria suddenly escapes out of you and it’s quiet. Not a single sound but your breathing. You literally go from 14,000ft at a speed of insane to floating in a matter of minutes. We’re floating and Tom checks in. I express how incredible that was, and I thank him over and over again. And he’s giving me a personal parachute tour of the view. There’s guitar lake, and there’s that ski resort, and there’s the airport hanger. He asks if I want to fly and hands me both handles to the parachute. He’s teaching me how to pilot us and I’m soaking it all in. We soared through the air like birds in the sky. It was incredibly peaceful, and my heart just felt overwhelmed. I just experienced something not many people dare to do. I just Skydived.
Landing was a breeze. Legs up, smooth drop. Scott waiting patiently to help me up and takes in my immediate response. Tom detaches me from him and I run towards my mom screaming, “I DID IT!!!!!! HOLY S#*!”
The experience was incredible, and that’s such a lack luster word to accurately describe how overwhelmingly euphoric it felt. It’s an out of body experience. I came across moments where my mind felt more aware than my body could move, and other seconds where my body felt every touch of sense while my mind couldn’t articulate a single thought. Skydiving’s adrenaline felt similar to the moment I clicked purchase on my first solo trip ticket. It’s a rush of excitement and fear, and you don’t really process it until you’re telling someone the story and the fear in their eyes stares straight at you. Sometimes I forget how brave I really am… I never EVER thought I’d be on the other side telling you how empowering jumping out of a plane felt, but here I am, Lillienne, badass, the certified tandem skydiver.
When’s the last time you did something for the first time? If you’re in Denver and need a recommendation for Sky Diving, I highly recommend Mile-Hi Skydiving.
With love,
L.